I have reversed seasonal depression since moving to Florida. When I’d hear people say, “Florida is too hot,” I would laugh. Blah blah blah, the summer in New York is hot! I look forward to the summer. I spent my 20s getting Snooki-drunk on the beach at the Jersey Shore. I can live in year-round summer. I hate winter. The cold hurts my bones. The thought of shoveling my car out of the snow, only for my parking spot to be stolen by a neighbor, fills me with rage. I can’t imagine doing that ever again.
Central Florida in the winter is a dream. I go for long walks daily, stroll through the farmers market on the weekends, and sip on seasonal cocktails at Epcot. But, guys, the summer in Florida is abso-fucking-lutely disgusting. I’ve sweat in places I didn’t know I had sweat glands (gross, sorry). I spend most of my time indoors, which makes me feel slightly depressed. I’m not sure I’ll ever be satisfied living anywhere, though. Perhaps a nomadic lifestyle would suit me best? I’ve spent the last two summers questioning if we made the wrong choice moving here… until I visited New York last week. More on that later.
Before my July recap, I want to thank my 62 subscribers for being here and for all of your kind words and support for CHEEKY! I published my first personal essay on June 27th, and I am blown away by all the love.
Might fuck around and burn my business to the ground to go 100% on my writing
I first got on Substack to grow my audience and attract ideal clients for my consulting business. I’ve been publishing pieces on Designed for Success. It’s where I post about the coaching industry, building a business, and Human Design. But lately, I’ve been grossed out by the coaching space and social media scammers. I’ve been binge-watching Danielle Ryan on YouTube and questioning the ethics of business coaches.
I always wanted to write but never thought I was good enough. Until I got on Substack, I held some shame around being a terrible student and a college dropout. I’m in awe of and inspired by the incredible writers on here. The community is uplifting and I knew it would be a safe space to share my writing. Thank you all for inspiring me.
I got a job and started podcasting
While figuring out my career and life, I decided to accept a content manager position for my good friend Caitlin Pyle. She owns SelfTransformation.com and she is one of the most ethical and inspiring coaches I know. I’ve also begun co-hosting with Caitlin on her podcast Self Transformation Radio.
Nonna turned 80
We flew to New York for Nonna’s 80th birthday party. She was so emotional and danced the entire night. I feel guilty about leaving her. I know she misses us. Visiting is stressful because I don’t get to see everyone I miss. I’m left constantly worrying if someone is mad at me.
New York attitude isn’t cute anymore
If I’m being honest, I don’t want to visit at all. I hate Staten Island, where most of our friends and family live. I didn’t realize until recently just how dirty it is. The forgotten borough used to be quite clean compared to the other four. I think we also need to stop romanticizing New York attitude. It’s beyond being a bit sassy. People are rude, annoyed, and angry. I know I’ve gotten a bit too used to Floridians waving hello to their neighbors, but isn’t it weird to walk past people every day and pretend they don’t exist?
Female friendships > family
Family makes me a bit anxious. There’s some passive-aggressive, unspoken tension and drama lurking beneath the surface of every interaction. My girlfriends, on the other hand, bring me peace. I am more myself with my friends than I am with my family. I am a maximalist when it comes to friendship. I have tons of incredible women in my life. There’s no such thing as keeping the circle small for me. I was afforded lots of time with friends and had the pleasure of meeting the first two baby boys to join the crew since all my friends have birthed sassy girls until now.
My bestie, Stephanie, spoils me. She’s been holding onto birthday and Christmas gifts and she outdid herself. After wearing a funky Kurt Geiger for my wedding, I fell in love with the brand. She got me the sickesttttt bag and vase! Not pictured, is the lame skincare I bought her. I need to step it up in the gift department.
I’ve showered so many times and still don’t feel clean
Joe had a work thing that coincided with Nonna’s birthday trip. The event was at The Marriott Marquis Times Square. The hotel was nice and the view was insane, but the area was disgusting. I am a native New Yorker. I am no stranger to the grime. I am aware that TSQ is always hell. But, am I wrong to say it’s gotten worse? I almost had my shoes peed on multiple times and saw a woman shitting in the street. SHITTING IN THE STREET. Joe said, “Oh my god, she’s shitting.” I turned to see a woman full-frontal (vag and all), squatting while a turd emerged. You need a hazmat suit to visit.
I romanticized, despite the street turd
I went to see Harry Potter and the Cursed Child all by myself. It was glorious. I read the book but remembered absolutely nothing, so it was like hearing the story for the first time. The magic tricks were surprising, the theater was beautiful, and the cocktail was strong. 10/10 recommend. Then I had a beautiful boozy lunch alone at the hotel while Joe worked. I felt like a rich trophy wife.
Cacio e pepe conchiglie
We went into Hoboken to have dinner at our favorite restaurant, Sorellina. We ate so much, I’m pretty sure people were judging us. No regrets. We both got emotional about living in Hoboken, and it’s the only place we’d consider moving back to. I found 2-bedroom condos on Zillow for $700,000. I cried a little.
I’m not embarrassed to be a Disney Adult
I hopped off the plane and straight to Hollywood Studios to spend time with my sweet nephew. I let myself roast in the heat and smell clean air.
Submit your questions to Dear Kristina
I published my first “Dear Kristina” advice segment. I’m taking submissions here.
A few Substack pieces I enjoyed this month:
If you’re not in a position to upgrade to a paid subscription, you can buy me a coffee!
K, love you bye.
I cackled at the lady shitting in the street but that's so on brand for NYC. Love my city down but at this stage of my life I can just visit.
I immigrated to New York when I was 4, I loved it even after I left at the age of 11. I would visit and yearn to live there.
Fast forward to 35 and I HATE NY, actually any major city for me is a dupe. way too many people, wayyy to noisy and expensive and just not worth the quality of life for what you pay.