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The Cheek 005: hot girls had blogspots and daddy issues

Welcome to “The Cheek.” My weekly, sometimes snarky, brain dump, typically fueled by TikTok brain rot. Enjoy.

My digital footprint is too embarrassing to bear.

I have always been, and always will be, chronically online. I was the first of my friends to join MySpace, Facebook, and Instagram. I even had a MeetSpot—don’t worry, you probably don’t even know what that is. I fell in love with makeup tutorials on YouTube and started my first blog at nineteen. I’ve lived many lives online.

In the last six years, I’ve gone from posting dating commentary to becoming a dating coach, a podcaster, a manifestation guru (weird times), a Human Design reader, and more—reinventing myself with each new phase. Every time I decide the old me isn’t cool anymore, I change my IG handle and delete all traces of her like I’m in witness protection.

Recently, I’ve started posting on TikTok again, trying to resurrect my once-viral account, which somehow has 75,000 followers and 4 million likes. But my new videos aren’t performing well, and I’m not sure the algorithm knows who to share my content with anymore. I’ve changed my niche more times than I’ve changed my underwear in the last few years.

Nearly every notification I get is from an old video—controversial dating advice, online business tips, that sort of thing. And I can’t help but feel embarrassed. With each like or comment, I want to scream, "That’s not me anymore! That was three ‘mes’ ago!"

Stop Majoring in the Minors

I’m officially twelve pounds down since I started my impromptu weight loss journey back in November.

I’ve also found myself “upleveling” in other areas of my life—writing and publishing more, taking on more freelance hours, maintaining a consistent yoga practice. And I think I know why it’s all clicking into place: I stopped majoring in the minors. Indulge me while I get a little life-coachy on you.

What does it mean to major in the minors? It’s avoiding the boring, repetitive habits that actually move the needle and focusing on the tiny tweaks that won’t get you closer to your goals. It’s hiring a personal trainer, joining an expensive, trendy fitness class, and spending $300 on supplements instead of just tracking your calories and walking more. It’s buying fancy lighting, new clothes, and aesthetic decor instead of just picking up your phone and hitting record.

Progress happens from the boring, simple, repetitive shit you’re avoiding. I promise you, new Lululemon leggings won’t magically make you pick up a dumbbell.

Will I get sued for this?

My mom and I have been talking about starting a podcast for a while now. We want to tell the story of my father: an amateur con-man who convinced investors and restaurant owners that he was a celebrity chef, owed my mom six figures in child support at one point, and has been married seven times. The lore runs deep, and it’s an interesting story to tell.

I genuinely think my mom has the power to inspire other single mothers—especially those dealing with deadbeat baby daddies. And for me? I think it could be a cathartic experience, unpacking the lifelong impact of fathers who abandon their children, especially daughters.

The only problem? I suspect my dad might be extremely litigious, with a history of suing anyone and everyone who dares look at him the wrong way (allegedly, lol). Would this be a healing experience or an expensive one? While there are plenty of court records to back up some parts of the story, the rest would be hearsay.

If you’re not stalking me yet, what are you even doing? Find me on Instagram @kristina_nasti and Tiktok @kristina_nasti

Submit your question to my advice column: complete the Google Form.

ICYMI: I do Human Design readings. Think of it as the cooler, more science-y cousin of astrology. Human Design has completely changed my life and relationships. Curious? Let me read your chart.