Just a dumb New Yorker in Florida.

The Cheek 015: kink-shaming the smut readers and princess treatment

Jun 29, 2025

Vibe Check

When I first moved to Florida, I thought the winter sun would miraculously heal my childhood trauma, food noise, and work-life imbalance. I pictured early morning walks followed by meditating under the rising sun. I convinced myself I’d somehow lose tons of weight without trying (because it was obviously the stress and cOrTiSoL making me gain weight and not the fact that I just couldn’t stop eating).

This type of delusion is what makes Floridians hate us New York transplants.

What actually happened was worse. The close proximity to family rehashed some anxious childhood memories. The oppressive heat paired with some minor depression kept me pretty inactive. I gained 15 more pounds, that I wouldn’t begin to lose for another 3 years. My failed dream of starting an online coaching business, set me back financially and professionally. My only saving grace was marrying a devoted and supportive man.

I wish I could say there was a specific thing that made everything click. Maybe it was deciding to quit the coaching ~~cult~~ industry. Maybe it was learning Human Design. Maybe I just got so sick of my own bullshit that the pendulum finally had no choice but to swing the other way. But things started to look up.

I’m working and creating more, moving my body and getting stronger. And moving to our new place was the icing on the cake. I’ve stopped caring about what people think, for real, and have been sharing Disney content on TikTok and Reels. I’ve been doing hot power yoga at 6am most mornings. I’m very much feeling like THAT bitch.

Welcome to The Cheek. My weekly-ish, sometimes snarky newsletter, typically fueled by TikTok brainrot. Here I share my curated clicks, fav products, how I’m getting my shit together (The G.Y.S.T.), and obviously my hot takes. Enjoy.

Curated Clicks

Read: Too traumatized to read. We’re jumping back a few weeks in time to my smut journey. The people of BookTok were horrified to find out I started with Credence by Penelope Douglas. Let’s just say it is not beginner smut. I don’t think it’s for me, in general. And while I know we’re not supposed to kink-shame, I am deeply disturbed to find out that some of you are into borderline pedo-incest plotlines. After a chapter where I was forced to envision brothers’ nutsacks slapping together (sorry), I decided to call it quits—or take a long break, at the very least. I think I’ll go back to my tried and true domestic thrillers (

nicole mathew

has the best recs).

Watch: The Buccaneers on AppleTV is underrated and I’ve been utterly surprised to find out that none of my friends and family watch it. It’s like Gossip Girl meets Bridgerton. Picture a group of rich, messy American girls shaking up stuffy British high society. Season 2 just started so go binge and report back!

Listen: Summer makes me miss being a drunk twenty-something at the Jersey Shore, so I’ve been listening to this D’Jais playlist a lot. In case you’re not a “BENNY” like me, you’ve probably never been to D’Jais in Belmar. It’s the only place on earth where I will gladly tolerate a sardine-can-like atmosphere, blasting electronic music, and sweaty guidos.

Scroll: Have we all seen the Prince Treatment Lady on TikTok? This Stepford wife-looking woman sent everyone into a tailspin when she shared what “princess treatment” looks like when dining out with her husband. If you’re thinking he opens her door, pulls out her chair, and lets her order two desserts, then you’re (1) normal and (2) wrong. The original video has been taken down, but basically, she does not speak to, look at, or acknowledge waitstaff or hostesses. In the video, she also discourages women from laughing, speaking too loudly, or talking unless they’re spoken to.

The G.Y.S.T.

If you’re not using Google Calendar to organize your entire life in the year of our Lord 2025, what are you even doing? Let’s make a pact, okay? It’s Sunday and it’s time to plan the week. Whip out your Google Calendar and time-block everything you plan to do this week. Start with all of your non-negotiable commitments. Work, meetings, etc. Then time-block all the things you say you don’t have time for but will miraculously have time for once you start doing this.

Need to do laundry? Time-block.

Meditation? Time-block.

Sex with your partner? Time-block.

I don’t care how obvious you think it is. Mother f*ckin time-block it. You can always remove things or rearrange your time-blocks. Thank me later.

Treat yo’ self.

I started using a few products from Beauty of Joseon, and the Ginseng Cleansing Oil is definitely my favorite. I’ve been double-cleansing and have tried various oil-based cleansers and balms, but this one trumps all of them. The price point is insane for the quality. (affiliate link)