I'm on SkinnyTok, sue me.

The Cheek 008: I almost adopted a five-year-old + my British flavor of the week.

Welcome to “The Cheek.” My weekly, sometimes snarky, brain dump, typically fueled by TikTok brain rot. Enjoy.

Unsolicited parenting advice from your neighborhood auntie.

I unintentionally became the temporary guardian of a five-year-old boy last weekend. My nephew recently turned five, so I inevitably found myself at a Chuck-E-Cheese birthday party. Spending the day in a smelly, chaotic arcade overcrowded with children isn’t my ideal Saturday afternoon, but the Ellio's-adjacent pizza is better than most pizza you’ll find in Central Florida, so I didn’t have the worst time.

Halfway through my second slice, I noticed my sister hugging a crying kid who wasn’t hers. Turns out, this little boy was sad because his mom had left. She just dropped him at a birthday party full of strangers and peaced out. I told my sister to go worry about her own kids and took one for the team by playing skeeball at a sticky machine with the poor thing.

I’m not a parent, but I don’t think I’m wrong in thinking that’s super irresponsible and rude to leave a small child in a public place assuming some other adult will look after them. If you haven’t been to Chuck-E-Cheese recently (lucky you), you probably wouldn’t know that it’s a relatively safe place to bring your kids. Children and their guardians receive matching blacklight stamps so kids can’t get kidnapped. I guess this mom figured he was fine as long as he couldn't be taken.

But I couldn’t help but wonder about other potential dangers, like being alone in a bathroom.

People assume I don’t have kids because I don’t like them. The truth is, I’m just crazy. I worry so much about the wellbeing of all the children around me that if I ever do have my own, I will undoubtedly be a nervous wreck and lose all my hair or something.

That being said, is this a common thing to do? Am I off-base for thinking this mom is out of her mind, or am I just an overprotective auntie?

Big Boys is the new Girls.

If you’ve been reading for a while, you know about my weird and creepy obsession with British television. My latest fixation? Big Boys. It legitimately changed my life and brain chemistry. I have never equal parts laughed and cried so hard during a show—nor binged one so fast. And now that it’s over, I am in mourning.

It made me ache for my friends back home, reminding me of the tender friendships between the gay and straight men in my life.

I’ve been craving something like Girls to feed my 2010s nostalgia, and this did the trick. Please, can someone watch it so we can discuss?

Where to watch: If you’re in the U.S., you can find the first two seasons on Hulu. The third and final season is on Channel 4 in the UK (I accessed with a VPN. Don’t tell the police).

I found SkinnyTok.

I’m gonna say the thing that every lifelong fat girl has been thinking (but would be crucified for saying out loud). I am tired of every conversation about weightloss being overshadowed by eating disorders, specifically undereating. There, I said it.

Additionally, can we stop pretending that Ozempic and other weightloss shots aren’t promoting ED? (Yes, I will probably talk about Ozempic in every post)

In the last few months, I’ve lost 14 pounds naturally, after years of struggling with motivation and consistency. I had gotten to a point where the way I felt and looked was incongruent with who I am at my core. I refused to try a crash diet or go on the shot, and instead, brainwashed myself via the TikTok FYP.

If you were to take my phone and scroll for a few minutes, it wouldn’t take you long to stumble upon multiple women who “love being skinny.” At every stage– losing, maintaining, and beyond- you’ll find women who are unapologetic in their weightloss journey. What you’ll also find? Accusational comments from people who’ve never struggled with overeating in their lives.

This is promoting ED

‘Skinny’ is a triggering word

This is so toxic

Eating disorders are very real and very scary. My heart goes out to anyone who’s struggled with body dysmorphia, anorexia, bulemia, and everything in between. But, can we stop bashing women who want to lose weight? And more importantly, can we start taking responsibility for our own triggers?

How is it that choosing to be fat is noble but wanting to be skinny is considered toxic?

I can’t help but notice that the choice to reduce caloric intake for weightloss is described as disordered eating but taking medication that makes you so disgusted by food that you eat less than a toddler is healthy.

*Puts on tinfoil hat* We really do have a hard-on for big pharma in this country, huh? *removes hat*

By making every conversation about weight loss center around eating disorders, fat girls get left behind (as usual). Society romanticizes young, thin, seemingly fragile women. We want to save them. But overweight and obese women? We get "body positivity." We get patronizing comments about how fierce and brave we are. Is overeating not cause for concern because it's not tragic enough? Not sexy enough?

All I know is, I will be skinny. Sue me.

If you’re not stalking me yet, what are you even doing? Find me on Instagram @kristina_nasti and Tiktok @kristina_nasti

Submit your question to my advice column: complete the Google Form.

ICYMI: I do Human Design readings. Think of it as the cooler, more science-y cousin of astrology. Human Design has completely changed my life and relationships. Curious? Let me read your chart.