I got laid off and I'm going to Italy!

On feeling both disgusted by and homesick for NYC, why travel is more important than child-rearing, and the relief of deleting Microsoft Teams.

Every few months when I get to my hair appointment, my stylist inevitably asks what’s new, and because I didn’t win the lottery, travel somewhere cool, or cure a disease, I say nothing much! Yet somehow, an hour later, I’ve remembered 50 things that have happened since my last appointment and realize that I’m not the most boring person on planet earth. I do this with my Substack. I don’t bother writing when nothing big has happened.

I was starting to think that maybe living somewhere “cooler” with art, events, and walkability would lend itself to more exciting things to share. After four years of living in central Florida, I started to feel homesick for New York City. I mourn the life I never got to have there. Staten Island is part of New York City, but it’s like living on another planet, a planet with really good pizzerias. It just doesn’t have the same walkability, culture, and vibes as the rest of NYC. So when Joe had a business trip pop up in New York, I obviously wanted to tag along. When we visit, we rarely make it out of New Jersey and Staten Island, so I was looking forward to spending time in Manhattan. Plus, all of my friends were excited to commute in and meet me for drinks.

Good food, good drinks, and a few cheeky cigs were had. I drank beers at The Standard Biergarten and spilled gossip at Ulysses. I ate Artichoke Pizza for the first time in over ten years and enjoyed a seven-hour martini lunch at The Beekman with two of my closest girlfriends. We had late-night ramen in a Chinatown hole-in-the-wall and the best carbonara in Little Italy.

I had a wonderful time... and I’m happy to be back in Florida. I’ve written about this before, and I don’t want to be one of those New Yorkers in Florida who’s all like hOw’S tHe sNoW. New York City is the center of the universe, the place my family built their own American dream after immigrating from Italy in 1970, and it will always be home. But I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad, and honestly a bit disgusted, by how unsafe and dirty I feel when I’m there.

Last trip, I watched a woman take a shit in the middle of the street, and this time I was almost puked on by a homeless man (unhoused, whatever, cancel me). No, I didn’t grow up in Manhattan, but I spent my childhood in Brooklyn, commuted to the city for school and work, and spent my fair share of late nights at dive bars in the West Village. Something ain’t right. I’m so confused about how a city like London, which is basically New York City across the Atlantic, can be so much cleaner and feel safer, even considering how much older it is and with all the phone snatchers running about.

All this isn’t to say that Florida is the best and I don’t miss New York, because it’s not and I still do. But I’m starting to think that I won’t be happy living anywhere. Actually, I’m lying. I’d probably be happy living most places in Europe and the UK, but leaving my nephews in Florida would kill me. I often daydream about what it might be like to spend half the year in another country, but the logistics, finances, and family planning make that all feel impossible right now.

I think this is why travel is one of my top priorities in life. It’s the thing that matters most to me. It’s why I’ll be 36 this year and haven’t started trying to get pregnant. The thought of getting to the end of my life and feeling like I haven’t seen enough is the most terrifying thing. If you were to tell me I can’t have children or I’ll never own my own home, I wouldn’t care as much as I would about not being able to travel. That is my biggest fear.

With that being said, we booked a “last hoorah before we maybe try to have just one child” trip. We’re going to London, Florence, and Rome in late October. It’ll be our third time in London and first time in Italy. We’re open to all of your recommendations for restaurants, tours, and more. We are 20k-step-per-day travelers, so don’t be afraid to lay it on us. We haven’t booked hotels yet, so we’re open to your recommendations for that too. I’m hoping to bring in some more freelance work soon so we can justify some of the nicer spots we’ve been eyeing.

Last week I got laid off from my safety-net part-time job, a remote customer service gig where I spent 10-15 hours per week answering chats, emails, and phone calls. It was super low-stress and easy as hell, but it was also the most boring, soul-crushing way to spend my time. Answering the same customer questions day after day while listening to the maddening sound of Microsoft Teams chats pinging every five minutes is... just... kill me now, ya know? But I was afraid to leave.

Even though I was working so few hours, it supplemented my freelance social media work, which is growing but not enough to make it full-time yet. From a woo-woo, spiritual-ish, the-universe-got-my-back perspective, I’m not surprised this happened. For a part-time job with no desire to grow, it was taking up too much space in both time and energy. My entire week and freelance work revolved around my part-time schedule, and I had this nagging feeling that it was getting in the way of me bringing on more clients. So when I got the random Kristina x Manager 1:1 calendar invite, I knew what was coming. They made me wait my entire shift to find out I was being let go, which is a diabolical move by the way. I sat in the anxiety of the unknown for six hours, but after it happened, I was washed over by an overwhelming sense of relief. Of course, there’s a part of me that’s freaking out. A chunk of my income has vanished overnight and my freelance hours are inconsistent (I’ll be working on a retainer basis going forward), so naturally I’m left scrambling slightly.

As I said, I’m looking to take on more work. If anyone you know needs social media/marketing support in their business or personal brand, I’m your girl. I offer social media audits, monthly planning sessions, and full-service social media management. You can view all of my offers here.

If you want to form a parasocial relationship with me, you can follow me on Instagram and TikTok.