Get in loser, we’re doing 75 Real.

Because we're not binge-eating everything in sight for the next 8 weeks.

if she doesn’t know who this is, she’s too young for you bro.

On the day after Thanksgiving last year, I woke up two pounds heavier than I’d been the day before. And for the first time in my life, I didn’t spiral.

Earlier that week, something just clicked. I knew it was time to finally lose weight, and not like how I’ve lost weight in the past by going on some crash diet, losing ten pounds in two weeks, and instantly gaining back twenty. No, this time I was going to lose it slowly, sustainably, and keep it off for good.

So when Thanksgiving came around, only two days after beginning a new nutrition program, I didn’t vow to “be good,” nor did I binge on everything in sight with the intention of restricting again on Monday. I ate what I really enjoyed, stopped when I was full, said no to leftovers, and went back to my plan the next day.

I continued to enjoy my birthday, Christmas Eve and Day, and New Year’s Eve while still losing weight. It’s been eleven months since then. I’m down twenty-five pounds, and while I’m proud of myself for slowly and naturally losing some weight, I’m ready to kick things up a notch.

We all know that Halloween through New Year’s Day can become a bit of a free-for-all shit show. It’s a delusional time when calories don’t count and somehow eating twenty fun-size candy bars feels better than eating one full-size bar. Every week at the office, there’s another party and a new box of pastries to avoid eye contact with.

By January 1, you’ve eaten so much crap that your pants don’t fit and you have more pimples than a teenager, so you resort to manically vision boarding while listening to biohacking bro podcasts. THIS WILL BE MY YEAR.

We can do better than that, babe.

This is the part where I’m going to ask you to be an adult and use discernment. I shouldn’t have to tell you I’m not a dietitian, doctor, or nutritionist, but in case you need the reminder, here it is: I don’t know what the fuck I’m talking about. I’m just telling you what’s worked for me and what I’m planning to do in case you want to join me.

Get in, losers. We’re doing 75 Real.

We’ve all heard of 75 Hard, with its strict and rigid guidelines that most people abandon within the first week. There have been TikTok iterations like 75 Soft and 75 Hotter. But what I’m proposing is a seventy-five-day plan that’s actually realistic and meant to lead you into a lifestyle change. That’s why we’re starting on some random day in November instead of trying to get skinny by summer or waiting until the new year. We’re doing a full-on pattern interrupt because, if you’re anything like me, you’re going insane repeating the same toxic diet-culture bullshit you’ve been stuck in since 2006.

I’m starting on Monday, November 3, and the last day will be January 16, but feel free to start tomorrow or even Thursday. Remember, we’re breaking patterns here.

The Guidelines

Follow a nutrition plan.
This could be a calorie deficit, elimination diet, macro tracking, Mediterranean-style eating, or just logging your food consistently. When I first started, I did the animal-based diet paired with a calorie deficit (don’t @ me, I know Paul Saladino is controversial). I love eating meat, dairy, eggs, and fruit, so I was excited to eat foods I love, and eliminating other foods made it easier to stay in a deficit. Eventually, I transitioned into solely following a calorie deficit. That’s just what worked for me, so do you, girlfriend.

Drink a fuck ton of water.
Like 80–100 oz. I won’t patronize you by telling you to put lemon in it as if that will make it less annoying. It won’t. Just be a good girl and drink the water. It’s good for you.

Take your damn supplements.
Whatever they are, we all need different ones. But I know you have a bottle of magnesium sitting in your cabinet that you keep forgetting to take. Get a cute pill box, set an alarm on your phone, and do what you gotta do to get those bad boys down.

Move your body every damn day.
It doesn’t have to be intense. Dance, do yoga, lift some weights, ask your mom for the old Tae Bo DVDs. Walking is queen. Just move your body for 20–30 minutes a day, minimum.

Enjoy every holiday, event, and occasion… with a game plan.
Choose what you really want and plan in advance when you can. No, you don’t have to be the weirdo microwaving chicken and broccoli in the office kitchen. Have the pizza and baby hotdogs if that’s what you really want. But the shitty store-bought cookies that are just kinda sitting there? Maybe skip those.

Limit alcohol and sugary drinks.
I get it, my family drives me to drink too. But maybe a breathing exercise in the bathroom will do the trick instead? Aim for a 3-4 drinks max at events and holidays, and skip sugary drinks altogether. Now’s the time to let that Diet Coke addiction shine.

Stop doom-scrolling.
You’re not going to find happiness at the bottom of someone else’s Ralph Lauren-inspired Amazon Christmas Decoration Haul. Replace scrolling with something actually relaxing, like journaling, reading, meditating, or watching Christmas movies. Limit scrolling to when you’re on the toilet. Don’t act like you don’t do that. We all do.

Prioritize sleep.
Try to get 7–8 hours every night. Lack of sleep leads to poor decision-making, like texting your ex or eating an entire sleeve of Ritz crackers.

Don’t explain yourself.
You don’t need to tell anyone you’re “on a diet” or “trying to be good.” Just be that bitch. No explanation necessary.

Optional (and slightly controversial): weigh yourself every single day.
If weightloss is not your goal and you tend to fixate, you might want to skip but it’s been weirdly liberating for me. I used to avoid the scale every time I ate “bad.” I didn’t want to face the damage I’d done. Now that I weigh myself daily, I know exactly what foods bloat me, and the scale always balances out after a day or two. Plus, I pay attention to my weekly average, which helps account for hormonal changes throughout the month.

If you plan to join me, lmk in the comments! And to make things easier, I’ve created a Notion tracker here.