Eldest daughter blues.
The Cheek 012: On being the family therapist, and self-therapizing with true crime.
Vibe Check
I’ve spent more time around my family, immediate and extended, in the last month than I have in a long time. Coincidentally, I’ve had more tension headaches in the past month than I’ve ever had in my life. I realize how lucky I am to have healthy parents, a good relationship with my sister, and to have grown up with my grandparents. I feel guilty knowing that the thing that causes me the most stress is something that others would die to have. Family is funny like that.
Since I was a little girl, I’ve loved giving advice. I guess it’s why I write, why I was a dating coach, and why I love reading Human Design charts. I feel this innate responsibility to help everyone, fix everything. I’ve read enough self-help to know where this stems from. Eldest daughter of divorced parents, you know the deal. My mother has been referring to me as her consiglieri for as long as I can remember.
I am the family fixer. I try to prevent tension, fighting, and discomfort where I can. I mediate the arguments, lend an ear to vent to, and babysit the children. And while I’m loved and appreciated, I’m also a human punching bag. My advice is often ignored, yet the phone still rings.
It’s taken me thirty-four years, but I think I’ve finally realized that I’m the problem. I pick up the phone and change my plans. I care about people’s relationships more than they do. I’m so diplomatic and so afraid of confrontation that I project it onto others and try to prevent their arguments from happening.
So this week’s vibe check? DND.
Welcome to The Cheek. My weekly-ish, sometimes snarky newsletter, typically fueled by TikTok brainrot. Here I share my curated clicks, fav products, how I’m getting my shit together (The G.Y.S.T.), and obviously my hot takes. Enjoy.
Curated Clicks
Read: Happy Mother's Day to Actual Mothers by
made me cry.Before my nephew was born, I used to be staunchly childfree and a bit eye-rolly toward moms. Gross, I know. If you’ve been subscribed for a bit, then you know how that’s changed for me, and how amazed I am by mothers.
Yesterday, my husband and I ugly cried our way through our nephew’s pre-K graduation ceremony, so I truly don’t know how actual moms do it.
Watch: This video about out-of-touch influencers made me audibly gasp. One girl dropped something like $100K on bottle service during her birthday weekend. Meanwhile, I’m over here considering selling a kidney to cover my car payment.
Listen: I rediscovered this Spotify playlist I created a while back. Put it on when you want to feel like a hot French girl… even while cleaning your toilet.
Scroll: I stopped consuming true crime content a while back. It doesn’t exactly lend itself to good vibes, and I’ve found myself questioning the ethics of turning murder cases into entertainment. I tried to stay away, but these two cases have me fully relapsing. I’m talking endless scrolling and streaming Court TV during work hours.
The Idaho Four trial is three months away, and despite the gag order, new details seem to drop every week. The alleged killer, Bryan Kohberger, gives full-blown incel energy, and the entire case has me deeply creeped out.
Then there’s the retrial of Karen Read. She’s accused of hitting her Boston cop boyfriend with her car while drunk. The first trial ended in a mistrial, and everything about the case reeks of a police cover-up.
I’ve been blown away by the independent TikTok coverage. My go-tos have been @londonsnotebook for Idaho Four updates and @boozeybeauty for the Karen Read trial recaps. If you’re following either case, please DM me or drop a comment. I need someone to spiral with.
The G.Y.S.T.
I might be addicted to selling things on Facebook Marketplace. And when I say I’m selling things on Facebook Marketplace, I mean my husband is the one doing the selling, transporting, and then handing me the money. So I guess what I really like is… extra money?
We spent today packing, purging, and putting together a donation pile. Things are really moving along, and I’m starting to envision life in our new place.
Treat yo’ self.
This Mario Badescu Mint Lip Balm is everything I’ve been searching for. I’ve been wanting something in a squeeze tube that’s not too sticky, not too runny, and doesn’t need to be reapplied every hour on the hour. Plus, it’s like eight bucks.
Photo Dump
The Plug
If you’re not stalking me yet, what are you even doing? Find me on Instagram @kristina_nasti and Tiktok @kristina_nasti
Submit your question to my advice column: complete the Google Form.
ICYMI: I do Human Design readings. Think of it as the cooler, more science-y cousin of astrology. Human Design has completely changed my life and relationships. Curious? Let me read your chart.
Playlist saved!